Works out what you actually want from it, what the other person is likely protecting, and the first two sentences — the part everyone rehearses badly.
Help me prepare for a conversation I have been putting off. THE SITUATION: {{SITUATION}} THE OTHER PERSON: {{THEM}} WHAT I WANT AFTERWARDS: {{OUTCOME}} Work through: **1. What I actually want.** Separate the outcome I stated from what I also want emotionally — to be right, to be apologised to, to stop feeling anxious. Name both plainly. They often conflict, and knowing which one I'm optimising for changes what I should say. **2. Their side, argued properly.** What does this look like from where they sit? What are they protecting — money, time, reputation, their own boss? Argue it as they would, not as a strawman. **3. My opening.** The first two sentences, written out. Specific, calm, no preamble, and stating the outcome I want rather than relitigating history. **4. The three things they might say**, and a response to each that neither caves nor escalates. Include what to do if they get defensive. **5. My floor.** The minimum I will accept, and what I do if I don't get it. Decide this before the conversation, not during. Rules: - Do not tell me to stay calm or use "I feel" statements. Give me actual words. - Do not assume the other person is acting in bad faith unless I said so. - Do not soften my ask to the point where it stops being an ask. - If what I want is unreasonable given what I have told you, say so.
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Install the prepare-for-a-hard-conversation skill globally from https://promptsbuddy.com/prompts/prepare-for-a-hard-conversation/skill.md.claude/skills/prepare-for-a-hard-conversation/SKILL.md
---
name: prepare-for-a-hard-conversation
description: "Works out what you actually want from it, what the other person is likely protecting, and the first two sentences — the part everyone rehearses badly. Use when the user asks for help with communication tasks like communication, conflict, difficult-conversations."
license: CC-BY-4.0
metadata:
source: https://promptsbuddy.com/prompts/prepare-for-a-hard-conversation
author: "Dinesh"
version: "1.0"
---
# Prepare for a conversation you've been avoiding
Works out what you actually want from it, what the other person is likely protecting, and the first two sentences — the part everyone rehearses badly.
## Inputs to collect first
Ask the user for anything below that they have not already given you. Do not
invent values for these.
- `SITUATION` — What's happened, in your own unfiltered words. Vent if you need to. (e.g. My landlord hasn't fixed the heating in six weeks and stopped replying.)
- `THEM` — Who they are to you, and what you know about their position. (e.g. Manages four buildings, always says he's short-staffed, holds my deposit.)
- `OUTCOME` — What you want to be true afterwards. (e.g. Heating fixed within a week, and a written record in case it isn't.)
## Instructions
Help me prepare for a conversation I have been putting off.
THE SITUATION:
{{SITUATION}}
THE OTHER PERSON: {{THEM}}
WHAT I WANT AFTERWARDS: {{OUTCOME}}
Work through:
**1. What I actually want.** Separate the outcome I stated from what I also
want emotionally — to be right, to be apologised to, to stop feeling anxious.
Name both plainly. They often conflict, and knowing which one I'm optimising
for changes what I should say.
**2. Their side, argued properly.** What does this look like from where they
sit? What are they protecting — money, time, reputation, their own boss? Argue
it as they would, not as a strawman.
**3. My opening.** The first two sentences, written out. Specific, calm, no
preamble, and stating the outcome I want rather than relitigating history.
**4. The three things they might say**, and a response to each that neither
caves nor escalates. Include what to do if they get defensive.
**5. My floor.** The minimum I will accept, and what I do if I don't get it.
Decide this before the conversation, not during.
Rules:
- Do not tell me to stay calm or use "I feel" statements. Give me actual words.
- Do not assume the other person is acting in bad faith unless I said so.
- Do not soften my ask to the point where it stops being an ask.
- If what I want is unreasonable given what I have told you, say so.
## Notes from people who use this
- Section 1 is the one that changes outcomes. Half of these conversations go badly because you wanted an apology and asked for a repair.
- Deciding your floor in advance is what stops you accepting something in the moment that you'll resent for months.
- Read your opening out loud. If it sounds like a script, cut it down until it sounds like you.
---
Prepare for a conversation you've been avoiding · by Dinesh · v1.0
From PromptsBuddy — https://promptsbuddy.com/prompts/prepare-for-a-hard-conversation
Licensed CC BY 4.0.
Every prompt is also available at /prompts/prepare-for-a-hard-conversation/skill.md — see all install options.
Almost every avoided conversation has a stated goal and a real one underneath. You want the heating fixed; you also want acknowledgement that six weeks was unacceptable. Both are legitimate — but a conversation aimed at both usually achieves neither, because the acknowledgement request reads as an attack and the other person stops listening to the repair request.
Naming both lets you choose.
People rehearse the middle of hard conversations and improvise the beginning, which is backwards. The first two sentences set whether the other person is defending themselves for the next ten minutes. Writing them down is the highest -leverage minute of preparation available.
Turns a vague concern about someone's work into specific, dated, behavioural feedback — and checks whether what you're about to say is actually about them or about your own preferences.
DineshDeclines a request clearly, without the apologising, over-explaining, or fake availability that turns a no into a maybe and gets you asked again next week.
Rony